dressed to kill

2005-12-13T03:52:00.000-08:00

my account had been hacked.... ONCE AGAIN!

no way am i gonna spend like another two and a half hours

typing and adding ppl to my account again.

so im currently using fadli's another account for now.

thanks eh? :)

to tht freaking hacker,

are you happy now?

i dunno wad on earth do u want from me.

is dis some kind of revenge?

wad do u f*cking have against me?!?

FACE ME and tell me u're the person who hacked my account.

dont be a pathetic freaking coward pls.

i noe its the SAME person!

i noe its the same freak who hates me

THT MUCh to hack my account TWICE!

dont you have smth better to do??!

get a life la! cos of u, im feeling so f*cked up again!

i hope you're reading this.

"THANKS" for making my life sooo much "EASIER" to handle now.

satisfied now?

bloody hell.

$&*#&$(@&#()).

2005-12-06T02:53:00.000-08:00

I had this sudden urge to go out wif my frens.
After so much eh-lets-go-out.-oh-no-i-dont-feel-like-going-oh-man-i-dont-have-money-arh,
it all boiled down to us going out again.
ahahahas.
miss them la. ahahas.

OH WELL!
moving on,
watched harry potter again wif tht someone a few days ago.
i did not have a good movie experience at all.
Even if the movie was good, i didnt enjoy it. not at alll.
partly cos the tickets were selling fast and we had to
sit at the second FIRST row. i was squirming around in my seat.
my butt,neck and everything else
hurt like shitt by the time the movie ended. =(

i was pissed. like hell.
BUT. tht someone cheered me up wen we were on our way home.
=D
wad a gurl wants. hehe.

mmmm..
moving on. moving on..
yesterday was interesting.
mama signed me up for this two days course thingy
& i had to go for it.
i was soooo mad at her for waking me up so early
cos i slept at 4/5 plus one night before.
all cos of tht SOMEBODY! ahahahs
and not forgetting the class started at 9 and ended at 6.30!
how looong is tht?!?!
I didnt noe wat drove me into such behaviour.
i felt bad for shouting at my mama early in the morning.
so i decided to go for this course.. ONCE AGAIN!
it was bad AT FIRST. i had a big-eye-bags day. How ugly.
i wore black long-sleeved shirt. black pants & black scarve.
so gothic-like. eee.
i wasnt in a mood to wear colourful clothes u see.
familiar faces, familiar attitude.
i've been to dis course before.
so i knew most of them. funny fun ppl there. (:

heh. and once again,
my religious experiments are a total failure.
cos as soon as i reached home,
i was stucked on my comp again..
its just so irresistable.
but mum,
i assure you that I will try my very best to resist these temptations.
once sch reopen- tht is.
Being responsible is absolutely tough but necessary.
so have faith in me please. =)
i learnt tht line from the ustaz there. hehe.
loooook. i paid attention ok! =D

im feeling better aft having flu and blocked nose every now and then.
now tht its over,
my eyes are starting to irritate me.
my eyes hurt from rubbing vigourously.
They are bloodshot now. urghhh.
such a troublemaker.

supposed to go for the course again today.
but silly me, i woke up late.
called mum aft tht somebody called me.
mama said i dont hafta go. mannnn.
god noes i felt so goddamn guilty
after hearing the disappointment voice in her.
wish i would have woke up earlier.
im such a lazy arse.

Dad's forever giving me false hopes.
i'd really appreciate it if you could spare a thought for me.
im damn frustrated wif him.
he's really stingy. =<

okay. im done wif the updating.
bye bye!

If I could have my way, I'd move your ass out of my life.

you're my very first thought in the morning and
my last at nightfall.

2005-11-28T21:31:00.000-08:00

im sickkkkk!!
weak like fuck!
flu in the morning.
block nose at night.
wad on earth?!?

arghhhhhhh.
nvm. i must be strong. -.-
anyway,
i was boreddd to death yesterday.
wanted to play some games cos i really had
no idea wad else to do.
so den i came across dis dress up celebrities game.
IT WAS SOOOOOO FUN!!!
i noe i sound so childish or watever.
but its seriously fun!!
i got some pics of the celebrities i did.
heheheh.
gawddd.
im talking crap arh. lol.
hdksfgskguwrblsfsfashajdajropasjfsgvasg

the only reason y i update today is
partly cos im bored & to show off my AWESOME "WORK" .
ahahhas.
so here it is. -

USHER.

PHOEBE (CHARMED)

MARY-KATE/ASHLEY OLSEN

KELLY CLARKSON.

JESSE MC CARTNEY.

HARRY POTTER?

ANGELINA JOLIE.

AMY LEE (EVANESCENCE)

nice rite???? HEHEHE.

alriteeee.
gotta get some rest now.
bbb.
enjoy the piccies. =D

2005-11-27T17:24:00.000-08:00

hey.
band investiture yesterday.
nth much laa.

hate to admit dis.
but dis year investiture was very different from the previous one.
i prefer the last year one.
yes. ahahs.
watever.

DEN DEN
ateeeeeeeee.
tt was one of the BEST part of itt.
ahahahhas.
but the chicken tastes awfully AWFUL! =s
but heck, i was hungry..
so i just stuff everything inside lar.
eheheh.

AFTER THT,
carrried some of the instruments from sch hall
back to band studio.
TIRING ARHHHHHH.

OH YEA!!!!
I SAW MRS ONG!!!
SHE REMEMBERS ME!!!! =DD

okay. back to the story..
walked back and forth
non-stop.
good thing was, I FOUND OUT LOADSS OF SECRETS.
ahahahas.
johnston told me smth bout somebody.
den fadliLY also. =D
EVERYBODY LIKES EVERYBODY.
ahahahs. -.-

so went back wif him.
eheheh..
guess nobody spott us together.
ahahas. phew~
had a fun fun time wif him. (:
den at homeeeee,
conference wif him & dale.
den add ma gf in also. =D
funnn ehhhhh.
talked to him on the phone den.
he crapped alot larr.
kiter awak semuer terkluar.
l0l.

slept at 3+

TODAY ;
found out something bout him just now.
i almost broke down in tears can??
haisss. im not gonna elaborate anything here.
so. yea.
i'll end here den.

BYEEEEEEEEe.

YOU! take care of urself.
im worried bout you noeee. =(

2005-11-26T12:03:00.000-08:00

inside,
my heart is breaking.
my make-up may be flaking.
but my smile still stays on..

on top of it, i earn the kill.
i have to find the will to carry on...

ps: happy bdae to IZZAN! =D luv ya gf

2005-11-23T16:42:00.000-08:00

muse bassist!! WOOHOO!! MY IDOLA! wahhas

REPLIES TO SALLY'S BLOG ON MY DARLING'S BEHALF. =D

YOU were the one who gave him ta me.
YOU even admited he's boring &tht lead guitars are
more challenging.
but who was the one who stood by him?!
MEEE!!
&now you said you want him back?? tht he luvs YOu more than ME??
OH PUHLEASEEEEEE.
smack back to reality, gurlfren!
wad goes around comes around..
muahahhas. -evil laugh-
If you hate me, i hate you too.
It aint my fault im better than you. =DDD
hehehehe.

NOW TO MISS JAYNIE WEE,
my another bestie.
(HEY HEY! it ryhmes!! -.-)

anyway,
a few months ago, while i was still in school,
JAYNE & i luv to argue bout whether hilary duff's better
or lindsay lohan.
fortunately, i was on lindsay lohan's side.
NOBODY.. i meant N O B O D Y at ALL was on my side!
but JAYNE was unluckily supported by another hilary's freak fan,
FITRI
they were complaining almost EVERYTHING about lindsay.
bout how she dresses, how hilary's voice sounds so much better than hers,
how she COPIES hilary's style, her appearance and all.
they even commented on her boobs.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THT?!?!?
-slaps forehead-

STILL. i was such a faithful fan and stayed on lindsay's side.
if lindsay noes me, she'll be soo proud of me ((:
i stayed STRONG and believed tht JAYNE will SOMEDAY prefers lindsay more than hilary.
chey wah.. and GUESS WAD?!

I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!!!
YOOOOHOOOOO!!!
JAYNE hates hilary now. she calls her a horse -.-
how rude.
oh well. who cares.
i always thought hilary was up to no good anyway.
JAYNE ADORES lindsay now. listen to her blog song man!!! its LINDSAY LOHAN.
WHO WAS THE GURL WHO MADE FUN OF LINDSAY LOHAN LAST TIME?!
WHO WAS THE GURL WHO USED TO LOVE HILARY DUFF SOOO MUCH?!

-sings-
who's tht girl?
where's she from?
no.. she cant be the one..

HEHEHE.

i dunno wads the point of me writing me all these.
ahahahas. -.-
make dem sound like a loser. =x
hehehs. no la..
I just want them to admit im the best!
hehehehe.
practically, cos i have no idea wad to update about band pract. today.
so i decided to update bout those two losers.
hehehe. they're gonna smash my head for calling them losers.
ahahas. who cares.

PS: you guys should noe im just joking eh? no matter how LAME u guys are,
you're still my bestfrens!! hehe. im soo sweet rite?? =D

LASTLY,
TO NURVENA TITI MARDIANA BTE MARTAINI.
wad happen to you??
KE MANER KAU LESAP HUH?!
no news no nothing..
SIGH. i miss you lar..
hehe.
i bet you're smiling now!
=D

kkk. gtg now..
BYE BYE. -waves-.

2005-11-22T13:52:00.000-08:00

BLEEDING INSIDE.

I love you,
(more than you know)
i hate you,
(when you piss me off)
i envy you,
(because you are braver than me)
i aim to please you,
(because you please me)
i tease you,
(because you tease me)
i dont want to leave you,
(unless you want me to)
i need you...
because without you.....

my world ends.

2005-11-22T01:25:00.000-08:00

while waiting for tt someone ta call me l8er,
i decided to update since i got nth better to
do rite now other talking to XIN YI.
heehe.

anyway.
woke up real early at 8.
i couldnt get into sleep la.

was kinda excited.
cos i get to see him aft so long. (:
hehe.

but i wasnt on time for band
cos i got back to sleep eventually
& woke up at 11+ .
i was late, of cus.

reached band room.
mr goh was shocked to see me, i guess.
cos he gave the surprised look wen
i entered..
oh well.
reported to RASYIQA before i went for
sectionals.

i pract. like siao ok?
ahahahas

we started the same routine again.
played fate of the gods &stuff.
played it toooo much til the song is still
playing in my head rite now
SIGH.

so went to eat at plaza wif SALLY aft band pract.
ate at long john silver.
i was really really really FULL. bloated.
crapped around wif her aft tht.
:DD
den went home.(:

kkkk.
done wif the entry.
bb now.

2005-11-18T23:46:00.000-08:00

WOOHOOO!!!
good news! good news! :)
I JUST WATCHED
HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE!!!!!!!!
for a moment like dis.. *sings* hehes.
i've waited sooo long for dis moment to arrive and finally...
haiiiii....
cant describe how im feeling rite now. ahahas

the movie was a wonderful, super brilliant, fantastic, magnificent, opulent, tremendous, stupendous, bedazzlement movie!! WOOO.

okay. bad news now. :(
i went to dis salon after watching the movie.
wanted to trim my hair abit.
rimas la. ahahs
i told de lady i wanted to thin de back of my hair ONLY.
den she OBSERVED my hair for sooo long
i dunno why also..
den snap here snap there.
& she ended up cutting my fringe also!

i made it soo clear tht i only wanted de BACK of my hair trimmed.
I DIDNT MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT MY FRINGE!!
bodoh betol.

i totally totally TOTALLY dunno wad to do wif my hair alr.
moreover,
im going malaysia tmr for two days.
i dont like dis.. AT ALL!
URGHHH!!!
WADS HAPPENING TO MY LIFE?!?!
bloody hell.

haiss.

2005-11-15T23:56:00.000-08:00

destroying the wall.. as always. -.-

baby cousin. LOOK AT HER SMILE!!!

my mama. luv her! (:

cute rite?? ahahas. i put tht on her. (: HEE.

shhh. she's sleeeeeeping. =D

CLOSE-UP pic of my sweetie. (:

..............

2005-11-15T13:50:00.000-08:00

wads more for me to say,
you're never really there for me anyway.

2005-11-11T19:01:00.000-08:00

hey!
yesterday was soooo fun!
thanks to VENA, SALLY, JAYNE, FITRI, WAHIDA,
MR BANGLA =S & DALE.
god noes i wasnt in the mood lately..
but they TOTALLY turned my world upside-down
yesterday! =D

we wentta EAST COAST yesterday.
dunno wassup wif FITRI..
she suddenly turned into some adventurous kid.
she wanted to go to esplanade la, arcade la, east coast la.
all tht all tht la.
ahahas. cute la she. (:

me and VENA rented a bicycle each while
JAYNE and WAHIDA rented rollerblades.
my GF was wif FITRI the whole time can??
thought she was faithful to me. =(
haissss.

ANYWAY,
cycled here and there wif VENA.
was fun like hellllllllllll
but tiring at the same time too.
BUT it was worth it rite?
ahahahahahas.

rest awhile at the beach there wif FITRI & SALLY.
WHOA. i luv tht place! ahahhas.
i didnt wanna move at all la.
i didnt wanna leave tht place.
my butt was almost stucked there until VENA suddenly
felt like cycling again.
so we cycled again.. and.. again.. AND again..
until my legs felt so numb tht i couldnt even
FEEL it moving.
ahahahas. nahhhhh. im just exagerrating. xP
hehehehe.

BUT DEN.
it started raining..VERY VERY HEAVILY!!
we were all damn wettt by the time we reached the bustop.
stopped at plaza singapura.
took 147 and went ta cineleisure.

DENNNN...
met MR BANGLA & DALE.
heeeeee.
hang around cine. talked, laughed, joked around. den watched movie.
Just like heaven.
OH YEA. DALE LUVS EUNICE.
GO SPREAD TO THE WHOLE BAND MEMBERS!!!!
ahahahs. u're dead alreadi! =x
had soo much fun crapping around wif them. xD
MR BANGLA sent me back home aft tht. (:

okayy. im done! byeeeeee.
VENA: im done wif the 411. ahahahhas. want more? come online la!! ahahs. =DD

2005-11-07T23:16:00.000-08:00

wtf is wrong wif you??
i was such a blardy fool to think FOR A MOMENT,
u're gonna change for MY sake.
wtf. wtf. wtf. wtf. wtffffffffffffff.

but thanks to my gf. i poured out all my sufferings at her just now.
i luv her! ahahas. yea.

kay. dont feel like updating much. see ya.

2005-11-06T11:00:00.000-08:00

kkies. QUICK update cos i gotta go out soon.
HAPPY BELATED BDAE TO MISS JASMINE. =D
i luv you
ahahahhas. and lastly,
SELAMAT HARI RAYA to all islams/muslims .
samer2 kite bermaaf-maafan. ahahas!

okay. bye! (:

2005-11-01T20:22:00.000-08:00

woohooo. bass rocks! -looks at sally- =D

hari raya shoeeeeeees.

me. farhan. sis. =D

i wanna buy dis for scruffy! pretty rite??

...but i have dis in mind also. l0l.

i wish my name was spelled dis way. at least its UNIQUE abit.

heee.

me. farhan.

mum kissing me! hehehe.

sis & me! <3

cats nip! ahahhahahas

ADIDAS. -.-

BASS!!!!!!!!!

hey! WHOA.
i've been very busy lately.
hari raya coming mah.
ahahahs.

nyways,
few days ago,
mama bought paint to paint our house.
orange & brown.
and WE(sis and me) painted it!!
for the FIRST time!!
ahahhas.
VERY tiring but fun too.
my house looks pretty now.
weeeeee.

next day..

BAND!
played fate of gods.
i wanna play mononoke la!!
dammit.
went to bp plaza wif jayne & wahida after band.
break fast at kfc.
ahahhas. and yea
i saw THT someone. heee.
kay. enough.

today..

serious stashing!
wad a nice way to celebrate DEEPAVALI,
aint it?
ahahahas. no laa.
basically,
i spent my day mostly on CLEANING
up the whole mess in my house!
i found lots of stuff under my bed!
believe it or not..
hehehe.
earrings, papers, guitar picks, stationaries,
scruffy's toys..
all those stuff tht i THOUGHT was alr missing.
ahahahs.

alrite. gotta go now.
bb.

ANNOUNCEMENT!!!
2 more days to HARI RAYA!!!!!!!!
$$$$$$$$$. $D

2005-10-28T14:13:00.000-07:00

bare wif me.
cos im gonna complain a hell lot of stuff like tmr's
the LAST day of my life.
okay.
-takes a DEEEEP breath-

everybody knows tht
today was the last day of sch
and everything went finee
until tht fatASS(ah tan) caught my
untucked/pinned shirt.

i didnt tuck it in la.
BIG DEAL!!!!! -.-
he caught me wen i was alreadi getting
used to the uncomfortness of my sitting place
in tht vincent hall.
he just LOVES to embarrass ppl man.
he was shouting at the TOP OF HIS BLOODY LUNGS at me
wen i was RIGHT infront of him!!!
YOU DONT HAVE TO SHOUT RITE?!
i can hear you, dammit!

today was the last day of sch okay?!?
give chance arh.
bloody ass.

sesunggunya aku tengah puasa!
ahahahs.

however,
he sent me back in wen i was CONFIRMED
dressed as a TOTAL nerd.
0.o
after the presentation and the giving
of awards,
we went back to our classroom.
got back my record book.
mrs gan said i slacked alott.

i shall say this -

im not happy wif my results.
im not happy wif my results.
im not happy wif my results.
im NOT happy wif my results.
im NOT happy wif my results.

from the edge to the ENDING edge of the record book,
i hate EVERY bit of it.
at THAT moment,
i totally lost hope in myself..

I SWEAR,
im gonna study my ass off next year!
i HAVE to.

looking on the bright side,
its my vocalist/r. guitarist/bestfren's bdae today!
JAYNE WEE XIN YI is her name.
chey wahh.
JAYNEYY!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
i feel so guilty cos i couldnt get
her anything.
PLUS i kinda treated her badly just now. =(
i was in a bad mood, wad do u expect?
im SOOOOO SORRY!!
u'll get ur bdae present soon once i have the money.
hehehehehe.

okay.
i have ALOT more to complain about actually.
but i shall keep it to myself.
ahahhas.

okay. gotta rush off to sch now!

2005-10-25T22:50:00.000-07:00

HEYY!!!
im backkk. ahahhas.
cant believe im missed.
hehehehe..

ANYWAY.
lots of things happened while i was
well... "gone".
ahahs.

lessons, fasting, EXAMS,
finished exams, PARTAY!! jamming!
drummers, my band, my bass guitar, rotting -.-
the used fever! him(:, results!
rotting again and again and
again.

ahahahs.
i agree i have such a boring life sometimes.
haissssss.

okay.
will update more next time!

see ya!

2005-10-01T15:47:00.000-07:00

hey!
hadnt been updating much..
ahahs.

well anyway,
met izz yesterdae.
she waited for me aft sch
wen i spotted her,
she actually RAN & hugged me
den started crying.
she told me wad happened...
den suddenly i got mad!
i really couldnt help it.
tht particular person's really a JERK man!!
h0w could u said u luv her and let her believe
all the fucking sweet talk
and den left her wondering wadda hell went wrong?!

well.. anyway,
i didnt spend much time wif her
cos i gotta rush home.
she's not okay.
and i blame YOU for the state she's in rite now.
terribly selfish sonofabitch!

fact bout izz:
she wasnt who i thought she was.
ahahahhas. =D

today was okayy.
SOMEONE SAID THOSE 3 WORDS TO ME.
& im currently OVERjoyed.
ahahahs.

NONO.
gotta concentrate on my studies firstt. =x
ahahhas.
OKAY. BYE. -waves

darling, stand by me. :)

2005-09-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 3rd ANNIVERSAY TO ME AND SALLY.
weeeeeeeeeeeee.

im happy. happy. happpppyyyyyy.
for OBVIOUS reason. heheheh.

okay. BYE!

2005-09-26T20:20:00.000-07:00

I cant stand the sight of you.
I cant stand what you put me through.
I cant stand all the thought of you.
I cant stand all the things you do.
Why do you try, to justify?

I SUCK BIG TIME AT PRETENDING!
so im gonna just let out wad im feeling rite now..

Are you ready?!

okey.
I CANT BELIEVE I JUST WASTED dis 4+ months
on practically NOTHING!!
why did i choose to wait for him?!

i must be blind to not notice he doesnt love me anymore.
Do you feel happy you fucked up my mind?!
Feeling so lost and betrayed
why does this happen to me everytime??

those who bother to notice me just now,
i wasnt smiling much.
lets just say i wasnt myself
for the WHOLE day just now.
It seems funny to me how fucked things can be.
im not doing great
I feel like im dead, not thinking straight.

damn!
why must dis stupid problem occur rite now?!
my exam's coming!
i need to study man. ARGHHHHH!
so much for studying hard.

Why wont dis memories fade?
Outside I had to lie; "I'm okay",
I hope someday, I'll stop getting pain.

B O R E D .
okay. i hate to say this.
but i HAVE to study.
haha. bye!

2005-09-25T13:37:00.000-07:00

YESTERDAY WAS FUN!!!!
ahahahhas
me, vena, sally and joel went to town.
wanted to watch fadli's band perform
but it started at 7pm
so we went to cineleisure...
i wanted DESPERATELY to watch THE CAVE
but joel and sally wanted
to watch THE RED SHOES instead.
you noe tht ghost story...
yea.
i didnt wanna watch it AT ALL la.
but they dragged me in...
so i got no choice but to tag along.
=(

so movie started at 5.10
and it was only around 3+ wen we got
the tickets.
so we went to this particular place
to eat. HAHA.
while sally and vena was "away",
i was in HELL wif joel.
ahahahas. was bored to death arh!
he was too.

so joel talked, listened, talked.
i listened, talked, listened.
den we laughed, laughed, laughed
until vena and sally came back.
ahahas.
okey. tht was lame. -.-
but tht was EXACTLY wad we did.
so yea...

after tht,
we went to the back of taka.
joel usual "hang-out" place.
SLACKED!
and we saw lots of BUTT-CRACKs!!
and majority were from malays.
eeeeeeee.
WEAR UNDERWEAR LAR!
disgraced the malay masyarakat sehx.
wahahhas.

went back just in time to watch the movie.
joel freaked me out till i wanted to
refund the ticket!
but i noe thts impossible... =(
so had to find the COURAGE to watch the movie.
sat beside sally!
can say,
we were both scared to DEATH!!!!
freaky u noe.
at tht point. i really wanted to hug somebody!
ahahahhas.
i was so scared. &
i ended up hugging my own body. =(
i broke out in fear sweat!

OH YEA.
AND WE FOUND OUT THT MOVIE WAS NC16!!
ahahahhahas. who cares.
we alreadi got the ticket anyway.
wahahs!
BUYING THT TICKET WAS A WASTE!
i still dont get the whole story..

"THOSE WHO SNATCH THE SHOES WILL GET KILLED."
yea. So?!????!!!?
-.-"

after watching the movie,
rushed back to watch fadli's band performed.
"DISMAY" were the song they wrote.
oh no. DALE wrote it!
NICE EHHHHHHH. xD
dunno whether they win annot.
cos we went out of tht place as soon as the
band finished performing.
so must wait till fadli comes online.
ahahhahas.

DENNNNNNN.
it was around 8+ wen we reached
HEEREN.
searched for pretty clothes.
found none. :(
and guess who we saw?????
TAUFIK BATISAH AND MR GOH! (band instructor)
i spotted mr goh from behind.
he was wearing this sleeveless shirt,
showing off his muscles.
WHOAAAA.
first time, i saw him liddat. =x
okey la. he looked ok to me.
sally said he looked so gay. =xx

SO ANYWAY.
den we saw taufik batisah on the way
out of heeren.
i saw him u noeeeee.
it wasnt on screeen or anything. ahahas
sweeett.

and we walked around orchard
AGAIN.
and i found dis pretty shirt at S&K.
bought one.

by the time we reached Far east,
it was alreadi around 9+ and i really wanted to go home.
ahahahhas.
HUNGRY LIKE HELL LAR.
joel didnt wanna go home YET.
so he called tht homosexual guy(simon)
and we seperated from there.

on the way home,
there were PLENTY of banglas around my
block corner.
and they kept giving me dis disgusting LOOK. =S
so i called mama to come down
just to be safe. =D

OH YEA OH YEA!!
I SAW ETHAN ONG AGAIN!!!!!!!!
cuteeeeeeeeeee!
(:(:(:
toook lotsa pics of him!
will upload it soon! ahahhahas.

OKEY.
i better start studying now!
EXAMS COMING!!!
yes yes. bb!

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
TO PRETEND tht i dont love you.

2005-09-21T10:52:00.000-07:00

okay.
so i have to update.
cos my frens's bugging me to update. -.-

ANYWAY.
CME and PE were the first two periods
before recess.
den it was maths, english and art.
maths was okay.
english was fine too.
ART!!!! my fav. period
and ms siti didnt come!!!
dammit la!
have to tahan wif tht whoever teacher.
she gave us worksheets.
plenty of 'em. but i finished it
on time. yes. ahahs

after sch was AWESOME!
vena,gf and me went to jayne's house.
actually, jayne was suppose
to teach me SOMETHING.
cant tell wad cos i noe my mum's reading dis. 0.o
ahahhas.
I GOT MY EYES ON YOU!

k. back to the story.
so my buddy couldnt leave me alone.
she loves me tooooo much to leave me alone you see.
ahahahahs!!
so she and my gf came along to join us.
INDEED,
it turned out FUN
PLUS chaotic!!
we were dancing like maniacs!
dancing along wif our TWIST trademark everywhere!
HAHAHA

DEN jayne taught me dis and tht.
thanks to her -
i was suddenly interested in sahida's bf!
ahahahhas. xP
he's too handsome arh..
his hair is so silky black!
got strings2 somemore!!!
i just cant resist.
LOL!!!
so yea. her bf offered HIMSELF to me.
i didnt influenced him or anything OKAY?!??!
hehehehehe.
accept reality, sahida. =D

i luv my bf now you noe.
hehehes.
who doesnt? xD

so we spent the rest of our time
practising and practising.
and sahida have to tahan her
LATEST bf.
ahahahs! poor thing..
she was really suffering!
tsk.tsk.
and i still love mine.
you cant take him back.
he's mine now!!
ahahahhahahhahahas!

jayne wee xin yi's house is like ~~hell~~ heaven.
there's all kinds of instruments
lying everywhere!
keyboard, drums, guitar plus ANOTHER one
AND another one!
looooooooool!
it was greatt.
vena was ~~a lil~~ extra crazy!
she's like some sotong who cant sit still.
ahahhas.
guess she was the one who cause us to be
sooo crazy too! l0l.

i luv it when you
one, TWO STEP.
[post the 'TWIST' trademark]

HhahHAhahahHas!

anywayyyy,
dont you think bassist are soooo
COOOL?!?!
heheheHehHe.
for obvious reasons,
i find bassist so cool now!
INCLUDING the one in jayne's band.
=DDDD
nyehehe. no lar!

oh yes.
im homosexual
meaning im attracted to the same sex. -.-
actually,
i just like the word.
-.- biosexual's nice too.
ahahahas.
watever.

last but not least,
alot of things have been going on
around me.
wif those SYUQRI rumours spreading
around the sec2s. -.-"
-- raise eyebrows.
and mostly ME who's trying really hard
to buck up in my studies.
and lots. lots. MORE!

hais. i dont wanna think about it.
so BYE!
i alreadi updateeeeeeeeeeeeee.
hehehhehe.

-- i wonder why i cried.
i wonder why i tried
i wonder why i go thru all this trouble
i wonder why i cant seem to let you go.

2005-09-17T13:51:00.000-07:00

EHHHHH

can stop it alreadi annot?!!?!

getting on my nerves u noe?!

have you had ENOUGH??

have you had YOUR FUN?

have you told the WHOLE WORLD yet?!?

wads so funny bout ME

breathing thru my mouth?!

LAUGH FOR ALL YOU WANT ARH.

i dont find it funny

anymore.

god.

help me.

2005-09-16T23:59:00.000-07:00

HEY.
erm. okay.
history.
mrs gan was absent.
did some worksheets and all.
okay. okay la.

MT.
"YOU THE MAN!!"
ahahahahhahhas.
before tht,
franciso and co. taught me a new word.
WO YAO FANG PI!!!!!!!!!!
ahahahhahahahs. =S

RECESS.
lalala. same thing again.
ate.
drank.
crapped around.

MATHS
okay.
some stupid embarrassing thing happened to me
UNLUCKILY,
mira and rasx saw IT.
hey. hey.
i told you alr..
i breathe thru my mouth.
i didnt ASK to be born tht way okay?!?!
NOW SHUT UP ALREADI!!!!!!
gawddddddd.
they made me so paiseh for the whole day
sehhhh.
- cover face.

their MOTIVE: to embarrass me.

their ACHIEVEMENT: did end up embarrassing me.

ENGLISH
like i said,
mrs gan didnt come to sch.
so did WORKSHEETS again.
wasnt enjoying myself cos
MRS VINCENT was our relief teacher.
"I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!" - mrs vincent
oh please. ahahahas =P
fitri and me kept laughing non-stop
but soon,
it was getting boring again.
i wanted to sleep
AGAIN
but mira was still sitting there. =(

BECAUSE OF YOU,
I FEAR OF SLEEPING IN CLASS!!!!!!!!
CANT YOU SEE WAD U'RE DOING TO ME?!?!?!
pasrah aku dibuatnye.
hahahAHAHAHaha

GEOGRAPHY
blalalala.
i was TRYING really really REALLY
hard to pay attention
but my eyes were heavy.
den suddenly,
i totally lost interest in studying.
it kinda sucks wen THAT happened.
x(

BAND
bing yang, claudia, shi ying and javis
ALL HUGGED THE PINK PILLOW!!!!!!
the SAME pillow which johnston
had stuffed it under his ARMPITS,
his SOCKS
PLUS cleaning the
percussion instruments.
ahahahHAHHAHAhahahahas!!!!!
was laughing like siao arh!
ahahhahas!
yumi thought i was crazy. =x
skipped the interviews.
ahahahahas.

alrite. done.
bye!

Ripped this heart that
cares for you
if thts wad it takes to
forget you.

2005-09-13T22:41:00.000-07:00

WHOEVER WHO HACKED MY FREAKING

E-MAIL ADDRESS,

IF I FIND OUT WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE,

YOU'RE DEAD.

IF YOU HATE ME SO MUCH.

CAN YOU AT LEAST BE MORE REASONABLE AND TELL ME

UPFRONT INSTEAD OF HACKING

MY ACCOUNT?!!!

I HAVE TONS AND TONS OF PPL'S E-MAIL
ADD THERE.

YOU EXPECT ME TO ADD EVERYONE'S

E-MAIL ADD BACK?!?!

FUCK FUCKING ASSHOLE.

ARGHHHHHH!!!!

MY PRETTY EMOTICONS ARE GONE!!!

I CANT READ MY MESSAGE HISTORY ANYMORE!!

I USED TO HAVE HUNDREDS

OF CONTACTS oKAY?!

I HATE THAT WHOEVER PERSON WHO

DID DIS TO ME!!!

HATE YOU!!!!!

well "THANKS" for making my life much much

MORE miserable!

but seriously, i dont need dis. -.-

>:((((

VENA! thanks for the e-mail adds.

kekekes. <3s.

my e-mail now: dressed2kill-@hotmail.com

ADD NOW. hehes.

2005-09-11T00:45:00.000-07:00

heyy!

JUST A QUICK UPDATE ABOUT "EVENTS" tht

happened during this holidays.

- MONDAY : went out wif sally and vena!

weeee. funn!! ahahhas

- TUESDAY : rotting day. bleahs. ~

- WEDNESDAY : nth. STILL rotting.

- THURSDAY : went jamming wif jayne, sahida, vena and her sis.

HER SISTER'S SO CUTE U NOEEEE. ahahs.

"CHUBBYness."

jayne is a pi gu!!!!!!! =P jk jk.

- FRIDAY: band. fadli and johnston returned! weeee. fun. fun.

fadli looks so cute playing the triangle. (:

me and yumi said he'll looks more adorable

if he wears a mini skirt

ahahahs! xD

and he scared me the whole nite yesterdae.

i was so freaked out till

i couldnt sleep. =(

him. bad. him.

SATURDAY: nth. nth. nth. SIGH.

SUNDAY: which is [looks at the time] NOW.

i guess it'll be just another rotting

day again. and i gotta finish

my homework. =Z

ahahs.

ALRITE. done.

I DONT MISS SCHOOL.

but i miss ETHAN! (:

2005-09-09T23:18:00.000-07:00

wo yao ti ni de pi gu. =D

2005-09-05T20:45:00.000-07:00

yum yum. =D

ETHAN ONG. =D

6 yrs old, Ethan playing the drums. im in love wif him. - drooools.

yet another him. told ya im in love wif him. =D

ISNT HE ADORABLE?!!?! -screamss.

2005-09-03T23:33:00.000-07:00

"Here's Your Letter"
Blink 182.

Cut the skin to the bone
Fall asleep all alone
Hear your voice in the dark
Lose myself in your eyes
Choke my voice Say goodnight
as the world falls apart
Fuck I can't let this kill me, let go
I need some more time to fix this

Here's a letter for you
But the words get confused
And the conversation dies
Apologize for the past
Talk some shit take it back
Are we cursed to this life

Fuck I can't let this kill me,
let go
I need some more time to fix
this problem
I need some more time to fix
this problem
I need some more time to
fix this.

im talking to the ceiling
My life just lost all meaning
Do one thing for me tonight
im dying in this silence

The last star left in heaven
Is falling down to earth and
Do you still feel the same way
Do you still feel the same way

Fuck I can't let this kill me,
let go
I need some more time to fix
this problem
I need some more time to fix
this problem
I need some more time to
fix this.

IM SOOOO MUCH IN LOVE WITH DIS SONG!!!
*blink* *GULP* *blink*
de whole lyrics is meaningful.
explains wad im going thru rite now.
you gotta noe im referring to you.

to WHATSHISNAME :
if you're not coming back,
please. please. dont give me dis
HOPE like u're coming back..
dont say you care for me if you intend
to just hurt me.
i guess you dont mean anything
you said to me on the other nite..
you're confusing me.
it. hurts. like. hell.
WHY DID GOD CHOSE ME out of million ppl
to go thru DIS kind of suffering?!!
i dowan to find a reason
to get angry with god!
but. i. cant. help but wonder.
why must it be ME.
HAIs.

okay.
i wont talk about it anymore.
makes me wanna cry only.
ahahhs

anyway,
getting tht hp tml.
just hope dad keeps to his promise.
ahahahs.

and si hui,
I WANNA SEE STARS TOOOOOOOO!!!
I ENVY YOU! ahahahs
how come singapore has very little
stars around?
i asked fadli.
he told me his corner has no stars too
except for one. -.-"
he lives near my house u see.
i looked out the window. i saw two.
two shiny pretty stars
ONLY!
hais. saaaaddd...

alrite. gtg nw
bb (:

the hardest part of walking
away from you was
knowing
you wont come back.

2005-09-02T23:48:00.000-07:00

i got sore eyes!! dammittt.
wad a "great" news to start off wif
aint it? :((

nyways.
teacher's day celebration was..
not exactly a BORE but not exactly FUN too.
i dunno how to describe la.
alrite.
i'll write down some points.
(+) = entertaining.
(-) = BOOORING.
(~) = okok la.

: fadli's band sang PROMISE-matchbook romance
and rum is for drinking not for burning- senses fail.
fadli, dale, elliot and ulrich were doing
well... but tht VOCALIST damn spoilt the whole
thing. but it was cool overall. (+)
: another band performed. boring. i wanted to sleep actually. =x (-)
: mr keh's speech. (-)(-)(-)+++++
: farhanah's band (~)
: 3/2 performance. (+)
: de malay gurl who made fun of almost
all the teachers. (+) (+) =D i was laughing like hell! ahah
: the magician. (+) i still couldnt figure
out how he did all those magics.

is tht all? well.. i guess i only remember
those few. =x

aft sch,
vena, sally and jayne wanted to go
jaming at bt timah.
me and fitri decided to come along.
wentta eat at mcds.
den followed them and went jamming together.

jamming was fun... indeed.
ahahhas.
i hate my voice!
it gets all shaky wen im nervous.
IT WAS MY FIRST TIME OKAY?!!
so obviously i was nervous.
still, the band's not complete yet.
=(
we're trying. we're trying. we're trying.
rite? ahahhas.

wentta westmall to buy grandma a gift. =D

went home aft tht.

THERE GOES MY DAY..
down the drain....
ahahahas.

bye!

- all the miles that separate
They disappear now
when im dreaming of your face.

2005-09-01T05:00:00.000-07:00

its strange tht
after all this while,
the sight of you still gives me
butterflies.

HEY!
lots of things happened
lately. -sigh.

alrite..
on TUESDAY. during DNt,
AMIRA fell downnn!!
wahahahhahas.
sadly,
I MISSED IT LA.
i didnt see her fell down!!
said by her: "i thought de chair was there mah
so i sat down la. "
u see she THOUGHT the chair was at dis
particular place and she
wanted to sit down but it so happened tht
the chair was few inches away from her "target"
and thts how she fell down.

ahahhas. mcm nangke busok ehk?
aku tak nampak arhh. sedih. sedih.
hehehehe.
cute la she. =D
and and.. oh!
my ACTING section leader
ILDAF(i call him tht) won the best drummer
award.
yes. yes. yes.
proud of him. (:
ahahahs.

WEDNESDAY
which was YESTERDae
was teacher's day EVE.
stupid of our sch.. we didnt celebrate
it. instead it was postpone to friday.
TSKK. tskk.
so lessons were as normal.
went back to my pri sch wif jayne and
vena.
ATE their nasi ayam.
SIGH. 50 cents only u noe?
ahahaha
food in sch now all cost MORE than 50cents
other than de tidbits la.
HAis..
sometimes we dont treasure wad we had
until its over. =(

AT NITE.
smth happened.
i dunno whether i should be
happy or sad about the whole thing.
i lied awake the whole nite..
Wondering whether you mean wad u
just said earlier.
all i need is something
true to believe.
i want the truth even it all hurts me
pleaseee? ):

TODAY
suppose to go out wif my frens
but mama asked me to take
care of my sis.
i dont mind actually..
afterall, im doing a FAVOUR
for my mum.
hehehehe.
im a good gurl u noe. ;D
hehehe. no la..
so stayed at home..
did practically NOTHING useful
other than cleaning
my own room.
ahahahs. =x

IM BORED TO DEATH
AND I NEED SOMEBODY TO ENTERTAIN
ME!!! ANYBODY?
PLEASE?
calling once!
calling twice!
-SIGH. no one. =(

alriteeee.
gtg now..
i got serious stashing to do..
hehehe. =x
bb (:

Discared standing alone in the crowd?
Did you give up
when I was nowhere to be found?
Did you get
tired of being left all alone?
Do you feel
better now that you're on your own?

answer me. please.

2005-08-29T22:54:00.000-07:00

beginning of the week

had pretty much been like a zombie.

i shouted at LOTS of ppl in de morning.

practically cos i couldnt

control my emotions and frustration.

plus i wasnt smiling much.

i wasnt friendly around ppl nwoadays.

.
and im truly, deeply,

honestly SORRY. -

seems like i dont noe the real me anymore.

I feel like im falling apart.

.
Why cant i get rid

of dis f-cking ANGER?

Its like a volcano inside me

inside my heart, my blood, my stomach.

bitterness,

hopelessness,

hate,

jealousy,

bitter memories,

that flows through me all de time.

How can I possibly feel so many things at once?

.
deep in my heart,

tears are there as my soul

cries in agony.

in pain thats hard to bear

from the torture

done to me.

.
If someone ,

just SOMEONE could erase all my pain

and turn them into joy,

my Anger would disintegrate

into a beautiful mist

of RELIEF.

.
sadly,

i knew tts not gonna happen.

.
- SIGH

.
nyways,

the case wif HER was finally solved

BY ME OF COURSE.

she told me she felt more secure now.

and she promised me to tell me wads

going on wif her life and stuff.

i still have tht feeling of GUILT tht

i made her cry.

instead of scolding me back,

she thanked me for giving her a chance to explain

everything thts going on around her.

.
at least,

AT THT TIME.

i felt special. =(

.
sigh.

i just dont feel like talking about my day

today at sch.

so i guess i'll stop here..?

yea..
bb. (:

my sorrow is your

ABSENCE in my life.

2005-08-27T23:12:00.000-07:00

IF U DUNNO HOW TO APPRECIATE US,

DEN WE WILL GO.

IF YOU FEEL MORE CONFIDENT WIF UR F-CKING "FRENS"

DEN GO AHEAD.

IF YOU THINK U'RE BETTER OFF ALONE,

SUFFERING,

KEEPING EVERYTHING INSIDE

INSTEAD OF TELLING US UR F-CKING PROBLEMS

DEN WE WILL LEAVE.

WE WILL LEAVE YOU FOREVER IF THT MAKES

YOU F-CKING HAPPY.

im telling you

i've had ENOUGHH!!!

2005-08-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

these wounds wont seem to heal. this pain is just too real.
theres just too much tht time cannot erase. -

im beginning to think tht
mr lim doesnt actually sux tht much.
afterall, he was the one who
got me, jayne, fitri and sahida out of trouble
just now.
heee. =D

HISTORY
did the essay thingy
i was actually confident bout my answers.
hehehe.
but im not confident ill pass though.
well at least, i DID try. (:

MALAY
took back our test papers.
i got the highest for the first test paper.
hehehe.
i thought nabihah was the one who got 39
cos mira told me tht.
den cikgu said out my name.
: NADIAH, 39
WOOOOOtttt.
ahahs. tyco arhh. =P
AND SHE SAID IM REALLY IMPROVING.
ahahas.
okok. ill stop itt. =xx

MATHS.
i finished my work all thanks
to zi xiang! ahahhas.
he TAUGHT ME LA!
ahahas! happy now? -.-"

ENGLISH
vena was sick.
so she went home i thinkk.
=(
went to MRL. yet again.
but the gurls were not using the
comp as we alreadi did the
"thura's diary" testt.
so it was the guys turn.
sat wif jayne and co.
helped chen li to do the deco on the
robotics scrap book i think.
i practically wasted 30 mins
on those.
i was trying to waste my time u see.

skip skip skip

went for band.
practically DRAGGED jayne to stay.
ahahhas
den while sally and me were on
our way to buy food,
mr lim asked us if we wanted to
go to chestnut dr. ta support ebby and gang.
sally and me agreed.
den went back to band storeroom to ask
the rest if they wanted join us too.

ras.geraldine.fitri.jayne.sally.me
all went to chestnut dr. together.
ahahhaas.

long story.
cut it shortt.
rasx and geraldine went back to
sch even BEFORE the whole thing
started.
me and the rest stayed behind though.
listened to the teachers stupid
BORING speeches.
MR LIM WAS SLEEPING okayy?!
jayne and me took a pic of him.
wahahhas.
den waited and waited for the presentation
to startt.
seems like AGES we've been sitting there.

time fly by..
by the time the whole teachers
finished wif their speech,
it was alreadi 5.
and we hafta be back by then.
so we skipped the whole presentation
and walked back to sch wif
Mr lim and the guys.

BAND was okayy.
spent like only 30 mins in there?
LOL.
AND WE PLAYED MONONOKE!!!!
like FINALLY! =D

went home wif sally.
talked about tht HER again.
she was always so sad but she
never said a word.
we cant understand you if you
dont let us to.
and you said NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU!?
how could we understand you? you nvr tell anything at ALL.
hais. mad la.
GRRRR.

okayyy.
done.
really tired rite now.
so SEE YA!

here i stand alone wif dis weight
upon my heart
and it will not go away.
in my head, i keep on looking back,
right back to the start
wondering wad it was that made you change.

2005-08-24T07:28:00.000-07:00

why must there be a wall between us?
why must there be a secret us?

HEY!
whoa.
such a loooooong time since i last update.
=x
well basically,
nothing interesting happened lately
so no interesting topic to talk about.
sadd. i noe.
ahahs.

ANYWAY,

spent my wednesday just like any
typical day.
fitri, as always, didnt turn up
for school.
wassup wif her man??
she have dis self time-table.
she wont turn up for sch every wednesday.
hais. i dunno watta say alreadi.

but somehow,
B, gf and me survived .
we were still laughing our butts out the whole day.
ahahhahas.

anyhos,
lessons before recess
were okay.
took two tests today.
english. and. maths
we took our english 'thura's diary'
test in MRL.
the whole 'doing de test on COMPUTER' thing got me all excited
till i flunk my test. -.-"
i got 19/40
can u believe thtttt?!?!
but i havent read the whole book yet.
so i barely noe the whole
story of it.

partly cos RIDZUWAN(retarded arsehole)
LOST MY BOOOKKKKKKKKKk!!
im STILL mad at him
not exactly cos he lost it but cos
he KNEW he lost it AND can still DENYY he gave the book to me
wen i receive not one shit from him!

i feel like smacking his darn
fucking face man!
i have de URGE to smack him
LEFT, RIGHT,
UP, DOWN,
CENTER!!!!!
but too bad,
khrees stopped the whole fight.
if only it got tooo farr,
i would have smack his face alreadi.
oh how i wish -

i hateeeeeeee himmmm!
i dowan to sit at the same row as him!
he damn spoilt the whole fun!
and dis time, i wont care if khreeslynne's
gonna mind or nott.

thts just toooo bad.
i just hate him. and you got
no right to stop me. =P

nyways,
before english was maths.
toook maths test paper.
paper was not easy neither was it THAT hard.
i didnt burn midnight oil yesterdae.
if i did,
den i guess i'll find it TOTALLY easy.
sigh.
wad a waste. =(

ART was after english.
did the carving thingy.
mine's gonna turn out nice!
hehe. no la
im just praising myself. =x
jayne said its nice!
heheheheee.
s� JAYNE!
ahahahahs!!

went home aft thtt.

*SIGH*
so bored!!!
god help me!!!

--- i wanna be somewhere i can see the roads
a place where everytime you breathe a wish comes true.
i wanna be where love is real
and memories of distant days come to life again.
because theres only one thing i need
and tht is you!

hopeless. faithless. restless. heartless. nadless! =P

2005-08-19T21:32:00.000-07:00

im sorry i even tried.

woke up.

bathe.

wanted to get out of de house

but vena called

;said shes not going to sch.

EVERYTHING was fine THEN.

so went to sch.

at de bustop

stomache ache -

its not an ordinary stomache ache!

was HELL painful than de previous.

was stoning throughout,

trying hard to stop de pain.

until it got out of control

i couldnt take it any longer.

but de bus came -

took the bus though,

thinking tht i can handle this pain .

BUT i was soooo wrong!

in de bus, the pain got

from bad to worse!

den suddenly de bus turned towards

the bukit batok interchange.

i thought he went to de

wrong direction.

den i looked at de passengers around me,

they look fine to me.

den i asked myself,

how come no one told de uncle

he went to de wrong direction?

Unfortunately,

i WAS the wrong one. not him.

i took 173 instead of 178!

argh!!!

i was too busy controlling de pain till

i dont noe de bus i took.

how genius of me rite?

but my nightmare didnt end there.

no fullstop yet.

unluckily,

de pain came back!

DID VENA CAST A SPELL ON ME OR SMTH?!

i was alrite before she called!

ahahhas.

my brain told me to go to sch.

i got test today you see.

understandable enuf.

but my body refused to go!

de pain was like ----

two SUMO wrestlers pushing against

your stomache!

its THAT painful okay?!

so yea.

i followed my instints,

i went home.

hope i still can take the testt though. =(

sad.

more sad thing is -

I COULDNT SABO AMIRA!!!

arghhhhhh!

todae's her bdae anyway

de bahalol's bdae! =x

OH!

so sorry i couldnt celebrate wif you. ):

feeling guilty like shit.

and -

this weekend, im going HOLLYWOOD.

again.

ahahhas

cant waitt! hehehe.

no la.

malaysia. -.-"

haisss.

okay la.

gtg now.

byebye!

sitting here alone thinking it through

trying to convince myself that im not losing you

why cant you just forget the things i said?

i was angry at the time

but now i've cleared my head.

it was so strong,

where did it all go wrong?

2005-08-18T19:43:00.000-07:00

if only you could see the
tears in my eyes you left behind -
if only you could heal my heart
just one more time
even when i close my eyes theres an
image of your face

and once again i come to realise
you're a loss I cant replace.

there was nth i could do now but plot regrets.
i noe i SHOULD move on.
to carry on wif my own life.
but how can i forget you wen almost EVERYTHING
reminds me of US last time?
THT place in MCdonald bp plaza esp.

do you remember those days way back wen we used to say,
nth can change us.
no one will stop us.
dont think you remember though but i do.

i did everything,
gave my all for the sake of your happiness.
i tried so hard i couldnt
see whats up ahead.
my memories were you and me together.
my kisses were yours.
Being wif you were times when my dreams felt so real
but wen i open my eyes,you're not there.
then i finally realized
tht i couldnt get over you.

but if i die tonite, i'd go with no regrets.
cos i alreadi said everything straight
from my heart.
its hard enough just passing the time
when i cant seem to get
you off my mind.

-- YES.

its THAT hard!

2005-08-17T22:42:00.000-07:00

scruffy. depressed too?

sometimes i wish these tears would stop falling every minute i think of you.

scruffy! all grown-up now! (well..not exactly.. but oh well)

=DDD

call me crazy. even i myself dunno wad was i thinking wen i took dis. -

THE FAMOUS MR FEET! =D

the shoes.

Benji teddy wif tasha's socks! =xxx

sis's fren, azmi. mabok arh he. =X

the thing me and jayne did in class. ahahhas.

proud ta say : dis is my FIRST and de second LAST detention paper i ever had.

alriteee. gtg now. bb. =)

2005-08-16T18:32:00.000-07:00

HAVE I EVER told you i LOVE tuesdays? yea. i do. ahahhas!
MT was okay. de boys behind were making up story bout someone and another someone. ahahhas. they cracked me up la. (:
.
MUSIC was next. THT WAS THE LAST PRAC. KK?!?! arghhhh! saded. im gonna miss the bald head teacher. =( AND MY BLACK PRETTY SURDO. - sobs.
alloyious and me kept exchanging surdos in de middle of de whole thing! ahahhahs. =D
Jayne was our leader. MUMMY'S SO PROUD OF YOU DEAR! LOL! jkjk. but she
did make me proud (:
.
recess was sickening. razak and saifudin kept following us. stupid la. tht razak kept calling tht someones name everytime he saw me. wtf?
.
.
DNT was totallyyyy over-de-TOP FUNNY! alloyious sat beside me. he bought M&M! and everybody in our table wanted some so he borrowed mira's pencilcase den put the m&m inside and past it around. me, fitri, mira, chen li and jayne all had a share. den suddenly mira started singing TONG HUA out loud! ahahhas. funny la she! den alloyious joined in.
suddenly alloyious stopped while mira continued.
.
WAH MIRAAA. sang SOLO arh?! =D
everybody were laughing. probably impress tht a MALAy gurl can sang THEIR song?
ahahahhas. dis is wad you get wen u're living in an 'ALL-RACE' country.
.
.
den alloyious said "wanna hear me sing annot?" den i was like.. "okayyy."
lol? he sang TONG HUA! HE sang right from de BEGINNING till de end okay?!
hes damn sentimental man. i can close my eyes and thought hes my bf. =x
ahahhas. his voice's damn nice la! first time, i heard him sing. =)
.

den theres dis sci course thingy at 12.30. okay okay la.
went to westmall after tht wif gf and vena.
laughed my butts off as always!
AHAHHA. went home aft tht. -
okayyy. done. gtg. byeee. (:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
And in the morning as I slowly

wash my face
feel you sneaking up on me
but my reflection staring

tells me everything

im alone
you're not really there . -

2005-08-15T19:53:00.000-07:00

I LUV MY SCHOOL!

only MY sch had a half day today.

ahahahs. big deal. -.-

ANYWAY -

day at sch was okayy.

at ta vincent hall was suprisingly fun! lol

our row (alloy, simon, me, vena, sally, chen li and jayne)

were de best! =D

we were playing at de back while de ppl

on stage were saying their

speech.

ahahahhas.

aft sch -

wentta bp plaza.

headed to mcdonalds

ate big breakfast!

walked around the mall

den decided to watch a movie.

sally wanted to watch THE MAID.

den niko(tht cute kid!) wanted to watch it too

think, think, think ~

finally everybody decided to watch the maid.

but i refused though =x

(for OBVIOUS reasons!)

sally begged. vena begged. jayne begged

and finally my mind told me

to go. -

not forgetting tht sally was gonna

TREAT ME!!

I LOVE THT GURL! =D

took 190 to lot 1

wentta de 5th floor

and guess WAD?!?!?

THE MOVIE IS NOT OUT YET!!!

everybody were disappointed

but me, well..

i was actually GLAD the movie's

not out yet .

hehehehehe =P

chen li, ridz and khrees wanted to

watch charlie and the chocolate factory.

but BIG PROBLEM -

jayne and vena alreadi watched it

so they REFUSED to watch it again

niko and razak didnt find the

movie interesting anyway.

so... in the end,

only chen li, ridz and khrees watched it.

however, the rest of us -

(jayne, vena, razak, niko, sally and me)

watched BEWITCHED.(:

we payed for the tickets

(sally payed for mine!! HOW NICE RITE?!? =D)

and 2 hours of total hell of boredom later,

the movie started.

the movie was alrite afterall

just like any typical love movie

minor probs occured -

den happiness at first -

den BIG probs ocured nextt -

den probs solved and

they LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. ~

typical, aint it?

anyway,

lotsa bad things happened today.

i ALMOST lost my wallet

TWICE todayy!!

wassup man?!?

i keep losing my wallet.

haisss...

guess its just my LUCK la.

-sigh.

='(

oh yea.

just a quick update bout yesterdae

since i didnt update yesterdae.

watched SIGNS wif mama and lil sis

at home.

i cried at this part wen dis man

almost lost his son who had asthma.

i had no idea asthma can kill you.

cos i wasnt born wif tht sickness

so i take no notice.

such a pity. =(

oh!

and i wont forget wen alloyious

called at 11.47pm yesterdae.

I ALMOST SLEPT K?!!

den suddenly he called.

aiyo. ahahhas.

he apologized though. (:

alriteee.

gtg now.

bb (:

tell me how can i let you go
when even right now, im thinking of you?
but if loving you means letting you go,
den i would do just tht. -

2005-08-13T22:28:00.000-07:00

there were times

i thought i couldnt go on

yet these special frens convinced me

i could.

they'd tell me not to give up hope

to continue on and

do some good.

i dont noe wad i would without you guys

you guys never fail to

cheer me up.

i thank god for sending you guys

to me. (:

anyway,

i shall thank one person

who had made my

blog so HEAVENLY

wif a song in it.

JAYNE!

she got me dis

Until the day i die- Story of the year

song.

i wanted plenty of songs.

dis and tht.

i couldnt decide!

ahahhas

BUT..

unluckily, all de songs i wanted was

UNKNOWN i think.

thts how i ended up wif

dis song instead ;D

sally!

ilu . <3

thanks for de fan.

ahahhas.

and thanks for waking me up

from my pathetic

dreamland -

i guess all tht will FOREVER

remain as dreams.

i gotta face reality now.

B NERDVILLA

one sentence :

WADDA HECK HAPPENED TO YOU?!!

where are you wen i needed you

most?!!?

damn disappointed in u

and i thought all dis while

YOU were my bestfren.

well... thanks! ):

well...

i guess we are back to normal again.

I LOVE YOU GUYS! =D

AND ZI XIANGGG.

lets draw MORE mr feetssss

we'll have -

MR AND MRS FEET.

daughters and sons of

mr & mrs feet.

mums and dads.

grandmums and granddads!

and many many

grandchildren!!

OKAYYY?

ahahhahas! =D

stupid entry.

bleahhs ~

Standing on the edge of a cliff that faces hell

in my head i recollect the memories

so well i back away so slowly

but gradually ill be in the heaven

i always wished for him and me.

2005-08-12T14:42:00.000-07:00

WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG??

i sacrificed everything for the sake

of you guys.

and dis is wad i get??

hais.

i dunno wad to say.

her: you gt no right to control us.

(shall not mention her name.)

MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnn..

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THT HURTS?!!?

my blood pressure bloomed.

my head pounded

all i could think of was running away from there.

i wanted to cry (somehow)

i WAS hungry too (still)

i was hurt . (inside and out)

i really gone SPEECHLESS

wen she said tht.

i thought i was dreaming or smth

den suddenly i felt

tears dripping from my eyes -

i was FORCING myself to push

back the tears

so they wont see me crying .

pathetic of me.

i noe.

well who cares anyway?

den they started talking to me.

"sorry." "thankyew" was all i heard.

i couldnt look at them

cos wen i did,

suddenly theres voices in my head talking to me,

telling me all the negative stuff about me.

tht usually happens

wen im depressed like this.

and wen THT happens,

i tell you, theres NVR one time

i didnt end up crying

i was too hopeless.

all i did was nod

I'm all messed up la!

Going nowhere fast but circles in my mind

TELL ME,

DO I HAVE TO FEEL LEFT OUT ALL THE TIME?!!

do i have to WAVE HELLO and jump around like a maniac to

make you guys REALISE im STILL there??

I cant go on like this

living like im deadI havent slept so long

Feeling sad I dread

I'm talking to myself again.

i guess wen im gone,

not ONE person will notice it.

WADDA HECK HAPPEN TO B AND my GF??!

i thought u all luv me?

but anyway,

big thanks to mama who

happens to be online now.

i let out my anger at her..

she didnt mind at all.

man.. i love her! (:

and AMIRA.

thanks for asking me to cool down..

i love you la!

ahahhas.

HAIIIII...

*sigh*

i feel sooooo dead!

rotttttttttttENN alreadi la

CAN SOMEONE JUST COME TO ME

AND HUG ME pleaseeee?

i really need one now.

serious.

okayyyyyy.

enough la

gtg now

buhbyeee

-- tell me all this waiting is worth it.
-- im dying for a place in your heart.
im still hoping tht i'll be with you somehow.